For starters, you've probably noticed that I'm not Jennifer. Or maybe you haven't, because I haven't started talking yet. Or typing. Ah, you know what I mean! I tend to babble, if you hadn't caught on...Jennifer was a brave soul for agreeing to swap blogs with me. Thanks Jennifer, for letting me take over your pretty little fruity blog today! I'm Sierra, and I usually blog over at my place, I'd Blog That! Come on over and visit sometime :)
When I saw the NaBloPoMo blog swap post, I thought it sounded like a lot of fun. I wasn't sure what to expect, having never done a blog swap before, but I figured I'd give it my best shot. But after signing myself up, I panicked. What would I write about?!? I had not a single idea floating around in my brain, and only a day or so before the deadline! Holy canoli. What had I gotten myself into? I tried to brainstorm a little, but to no avail. My brain was my enemy. Creativity was evading me. I decided to forget about it for awhile, and just wait for a brilliant topic to pop into my head (a very dangerous tactic, don't try this at home on your own blogs!) Last night, I decided not to shoot any silly sounding ideas down that came through my brain (like I usually do), and just gather them all up to sort through. I was thinking about today, Thanksgiving, and what it means, especially this year. I don't usually contemplate the holidays as I have this fall. They mean a little more to me than they usually do. I realized that Thanksgiving, and more specifically, what I'm thankful for this year, would be a perfectly good topic for a blog post! So here I am. And there you are, going "ohhhh, great, another sappy 'I love my family and friends' Thanksgiving post!" But do not fear. I will not get sappy. Or at least not too sappy. Deal? Deal.
This year, I'm thankful for many things. The usual: family, friends, roof over my head, healthy food to eat, plenty of clean clothes to wear each day, a safe neighborhood, a bright future, opportunities, and tons of other stuff. But because of recent events in my life, some unexpected, some just tougher than I was ready for, I am especially thankful for one specific thing this fall. Health! My health, and the health of my friends and family, is so important to me, and I often take it for granted. Whenever I get sick, I realize how much I value my usual health. Joni Mitchell sure knew what she was talking about when she sang "don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone". Why is it that it often takes a bout of pain, suffering, or turmoil to make us realize how good we normally have it? It would be much nicer if we just appreciated each moment and each person in our lives and didn't have to endure the loss and sorrow of losing those close to us, or losing our health. When our normal days are challenged and replaced with hours full of illness and discomfort, it turns our world upside down, even if ever so slightly.
I've had three months filled with three surgeries, three recovery periods, three months worth of gauze and partial showers, three weeks after three weeks of feeling better and then feeling worse...it's been emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. I admit it. I won't play down the fact that this whole thing has been exhausting. Much more than I ever expected. For one, this most recent surgery was an emergency, unplanned surgery. I made the drive up to see my surgeon (two hours north of me, and he's worth every mile) two Fridays ago, not sure what to expect. I'd had complications with my skin not healing properly, and other details I won't go into for TMI purposes, but I knew something was wrong. I was having a lot of pain, and with it having been a little over two weeks post surgery, I shouldn't have been. I entered the doctor's office with slight trepidation that Friday, but I never expected to hear the words "I'm so sorry--you need to have surgery immediately to get this taken care of." My heart flip flopped. I half expected them to squeeze me in to the O.R. schedule that very day, with the amount of concern the doctors had on their face. The soonest they could fit me in was Monday, and I had a high risk of infection until the problem was taken care of, they said. My heart rate increased, my mother entered the room, and I realized all the implications of what this new development meant. I'd have to drop out of school for the remainder of the semester. My biggest fear. I was doing A+ well in all my classes, and looking forward to getting them out of the way (I'm currently in the process of completing my pre-requisites to enter nursing school, and every extra semester means more work and more time until I can apply).
My most recent surgery was a couple of Mondays ago. It's been about a week and a half. I had a surgical drain tube in my chest up until yesterday, and I was enduring excrutiating, almost unbearable pain for that entire time. I had never encountered such intense pressure in my chest, such hurt welling up inside my heart. It literally hurt to breathe. Hurt to cough. Hurt to move. Hurt to just BE. I'd never had to deal with such a crazy pain before, and it took almost everything out of me. I couldn't breathe deep enough to gather breath to talk as loud as normal. I couldn't do anything but sit in a maroon La-Z-Boy in the living room all day, watching movies (but no comedies-they might make me laugh, which would, in turn, make me cry from pain). Thank goodness for my laptop, which kept me company for a week and a half. I watched my TV shows online, tried to type some emails, keep up with my online Psychology class...it all required an enormous amount of effort, both mental and physical, because I could hardly lift or move my right arm (part of the surgery I had included cutting deep into my chest muscle, which is were the majority of my pain has come from). But, *knock on wood*, as of yesterday at about 4:40PM, I've FINALLY gotten some relief from all this terrible pain! I got my surgical drain pulled out yesterday, and it immediately relieved a ton of the pressure in my chest! Hurray! I'm still in pain, and by no means completely well yet, but I am in awe of how much better I feel today just because of the drain tube being gone. I'm amazed. The pain was so hard to deal with, and I was just about ready to give up out of frustration and exhaustion...that I am especially thankful for any measure of relief, and so blessed by just how much better I feel today.
But I have dealt with nothing, NOTHING like this . Or this . Or this. Ovarian cancer. Childhood leukemia. Liver failure.
And those beautiful, strong, courageous women and children? They make me want to sit down, tears in my eyes, and thank my lucky stars every moment of every day that I am healthy. I am well. I have a strong body, and a sound mind. I am a lucky, blessed person to be able to say that. And so today, I am thankful for my health.
Todays guest post was brought to you by Sierra.
This is all part of the NaBloPoMo "Blog Swap".
Don't forget to go check out my post over on their site, I'd Blog That!
1 year ago