Saturday, June 28, 2008

Depression… I Has It



This blog is becoming even too depressing for me, and it is my life. I have no home and no job. Therefore, if you are hoping for the regular me to return, you may have to wait awhile. Sorry.

No Soup For You! Come Back Two Years!

(Well, I hope not two years… My unemployment only lasts one year.)

Friday, June 27, 2008

The Next Person Who Says It Can’t Get Any Worse Gets My Foot In Their ASS

So house number one fell through. They did not bother to tell us until this morning. House number two, we have no idea yet. They could not get a hold of the owner before they closed at 5:00. They will not be open again until Monday. So at this point, I have no job and no home. Good job. I do not know why I thought I could do this. I just wanted to move somewhere better for the girls. I should have stayed put. We could have gotten another apartment in the area that would have been okay, and sure, my boss was a nut, but at least he paid me. Now I have nothing. What the hell was I thinking? I am just a wreck. I burst into tears whenever I think about it. I cannot believe my luck. Tomorrow I begin again with my house hunt. I do not care what it looks like, if it is available and we can put our stuff in it, I will take it.

Homeless

So, the house I wanted is not mine. Seriously, they could have said that on Tuesday. The owner was being very wishy-washy. She wanted to think it over, then maybe she wanted to have it painted first. Then maybe she wanted to wait. Finally, she decided she wanted to wait and do something else. Finally, she decided today, Friday, five days later. I could have been looking at other places. Now I have to find another place. Our rental agent, Nicole, is out today, so Leslie is helping us. They only have one other home in Apple Valley that interests me. It has a little potbellied stove in it. Leslie is going to contact the owner and get back to me. I am so mad and so frustrated. We have to be out of here on Monday and we have no where to move to. If I go with another rental agency, I have to start over and they will want several days to process my application, and of course new application fees. This blows.

And I still don't have a new job either.

A Week Of Unemployment

Last week at this time, I was about to enjoy my last day in the basket business. Jo Anna, Arturo, and I had some Mexican food for lunch. It was yummy.

Here it is a week later… I have no job. I have applied for more than I can count. I applied for unemployment. I am not sure I qualify, since I quit, but I figured that it could not hurt. Besides, I think it would be required for me and the girls to get on state medical. I have been on one promising interview. Everyone keep their fingers crossed.

On the home front, we should know what the heck is going on sometime this morning. The owner has not gotten back with the rental agent yet. Nicole, our agent, has called and left messages, but still nothing. The owner knows we have to move quickly. We understand there were painters over there today. It is very frustrating because if this one is not it, then I NEED to be out looking for a new one. I like this one though. I will keep you updated.

Well, as sleep and me are not friends, I will get on with my day. I reserved a U-Haul for Sunday. Today I have to get over to the bank and continue my packing and cleaning extravaganza.

Until later…

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thursday 13- Edition 13





Thirteen Yummy Cakes

1. Yellow Cake with Chocolate Frosting
2. Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting
3. Banana Cake
4. Spice Cake
5. Red Velvet Cake
6. Devil’s Food Cake
7. Angel Food Cake
8. Sponge Cake
9. Coffee Cake
10. Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
11. Lemon Cake
12. Strawberry Shortcake
13. Crab Cakes

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Unemployed

Today is the second day of my fabulous unemployment. Well, maybe it is not exactly fabulous. It is not going nearly as planned.

First, my departure from my job did not go as smoothly as I had hoped. I assumed my boss would be mad, but I did not think he would react the way he did. He called dozens of times. I left messages that I did not even listen too. Jo Anna says she is sure he actually came here to my apartment. I was not here. I was still at my mom’s house. Then, to top it off, he fired Jo Anna and told her that he was firing her because business was bad and I wanted more money and he could give it to me if he fired her. I never spoke to him and no amount of money would make me go back. I cannot believe he fired her because of me. I quit a week earlier than I had planned because I just knew he was going to fire her. I had reasoned that he had to have one of us. He cannot even put the paper in the printer. I guess I was wrong. What a jerk. He is the one with the failing business.

Next, the house hunting went okay. I settled on a house I like and I put in the application to rent it. I should know tomorrow. It is looking very good. We are hoping to move in this weekend.

Finally, I still have no great new job. I had an interview on Sunday. The man was so excited to meet with me he wanted to meet with me on Sunday. He does not even own the business yet. He was very positive and a really nice guy. It seems promising. I have been applying for every job I can find. I am signed up with every job-hunting website I ever heard of. I applied for unemployment this afternoon.

Today was a crappy day. I got up early and dropped my car off. $171.00 later, my oil is changed, spark plugs are new, oil filter is new, air filter is new, tires are rotated, belts are tightened, a new brake light, and my air conditioner is working again. That is a good thing because it was HOT in the desert. I had a fight with the gas and electric company today. They tried to turn the electricity off today. I want them to shut it off on Monday. To make the day more special, Carolynn locked us all out of the house and our landlady wouldn’t let us in because it was after hours. Her office supposedly closes at six. It was 6:03. I am serious. She usually is not even in there. I cannot wait to get out of here. Do not even ask how much a locksmith cost.

After I dropped off my car I realized, when I got home, we had no food. Well, we had some, but we had no milk or bread. And I had no car. We ate scrambled eggs.

People keep saying it can only get better from here. I hope they are all right.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Thursday 13- Edition 12





Thirteen Tasty Pies

1. Banana Cream Pie
2. Cherry Pie
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Carmel Apple Pie (From Julian Apple Pie Co. YUMMY!)
5. Dutch Apple Pie
6. Rhubarb Pie (From Mrs. Knott’s)
7. Strawberry Pie
8. Mince Meat Pie (Maybe not that tasty)
9. Pumpkin Pie
10. Pecan Pie
11. Peach Pie
12. Chocolate Cream Pie
13. Cream Cheese Pie (Also known as Cheesecake)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Wordless Wednessday #10




Picture Credit- Jim Wilson/The New York Times


Del Martin, seated, and Phyllis Lyon were the first same-sex couple in San Francisco to exchange wedding vows on Monday. Mayor Gavin Newsom, left, presided.

Okay, so this Wednesday is nearly wordless...

This is a history making event. I am not saying I want to be a lesbian or anything, but what I am saying is that these women as well as countless other gay and lesbian people have waited a long time and endured a lot of terrible stuff just to be allowed to do what my sister did without telling us when she felt like it.

In the immortal words of Marge Simpson... "As long as two people are in love, I don’t care if they have the same hoo-hoo or haa-haa." "Just because you're a lesbian doesn't make you less of a being."

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Dreaming Of A Job

Like I mentioned yesterday, I am not sleeping very well. If I drift off I end up having these strange dreams. Jo Anna thinks they reflect my serious stress and worry. I just think they are so weird. You decide.

********************


I am at Jo Anna's house. She is so mad because her whole carpet is covered with cereal and she is sure my kids have done it. I am trying to argue with her because I don't understand how my kids could have done it and what's more, I don't see any cereal. She tells me I have to vacuum it all up. So I start vacuuming her house and I wake up her roommate (who I never met and is just a faceless woman in a white nightgown) and she starts yelling at me. Then I wake up.

********************


There is a baby asleep on my bed. I start yelling for David. I ask him where the baby came from. He looks at me like I am nuts and he says it is my baby. I am yelling and yelling at him because it is not my baby. I can't have a baby. I wasn't even pregnant. But he won't listen. So I tell him to go to the store and get me a car seat so I can take this baby where she belongs. He comes back with a walker. I start yelling again. How can you mistake a walker with a car seat? And he didn't even have enough sense to bring diapers or formula! He opens my closet and it is full of Pampers. He tells me I don't need formula because I have boobs! So now I am yelling that only works if is were my baby and it's not and he is yelling back that yes it is. That is when I woke up.

********************


I am in downtown San Diego, right at Seaport Village. I am there with Trisha's husband Casey. I am yelling at him because I have just caught him cheating on Trisha with Kellie Pickler. But there is no time to yell because on a TV I see that there are fires everywhere like there were last October. I realize that fires are surrounding where I know Trisha, her girls and my girls are. I start crying that I have to get there, but all Casey wants to do is talk about Kellie. Police won't let me leave. I am hysterical. Then I wake up.

********************


I am moving out of this apartment, but I am moving into my Grandpa's old trailer. Apparently, everyone lives in this trailer; my parents, my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my sister and Chris, my brother, me, the girls and David. But that wasn't all... There were also random relatives from other sides of my family that I haven't seen in a million years. I start arguing with a long lost uncle in a garbage truck. I need to mail a slab of cement. I can't. I lost some keys. My grandma, who in my dream is young, is mad because there are so many people and everyone is so messy. She is telling me I have to help her control this zoo. She keeps saying it's a zoo. All I want to do is mail. Then I wake up.

********************


That wasn't even all of them. Those just happened to be the most vivid, most memorable ones I have had recently. I know, I am nuts. If I just had a new job, I could relax and have normal dreams where no one sleeps with second rate country stars, random relatives turn into a zoo, I don't have to vacuum invisible cereal and I don't have babies that aren't mine.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Today Is The Day

Today is the day. Today is the day I will get a fabulous new job and I will be set on the path to my new life. Of course, I think that every day. Each weekday morning, I get up thinking that today is it. But it hasn’t been yet. So I go to bed each night, thinking tomorrow will be the day. However, tomorrow never comes. Nevertheless, today is the day.

Sleep has become elusive. It is not just the nighttime neighborhood annoyances. I lie in my bed and spend most of the night thinking about all the could have, should have, would have possibilities, slipping in and out of a sleep wrought with strange dreams, until I finally get up. Then I am back to where I started. Today is the day.

Eating has become a challenge. Either I am not hungry or I want to eat everything. If I don’t eat, my body starts protesting. My stomach starts making noises that I am sure can be heard somewhere in Argentina. I try to ignore it because no food sounds appetizing when I feel this way. Eventually, I have to give in and after I feel nauseous. Then the days I want to eat everything. I do not want anything good for me either. I want tacos, burgers, cookies, chips, soda, and candy. I eat and eat until once again, my body protests and my stomach starts churning. Nevertheless, through it all, I try to keep my hope that today is the day.

I send out applications, resumes, references, and letters of interest. I call and I e-mail. I put on my smile despite the fact that I am sure my desperation is plain to all. I interview, tooting my own horn in what I feel is just the right amount. Letting each person I speak to or e-mail know that I will be wonderful at the given job. I use examples specific to the job in question. I am excited and ready to go. Just give me the sign, and I am all over it. Today will be the day.

I go around my house trying to keep the kids excited, keep them moving, and keep them packing. It is going to be a great new adventure. Everything will work out. I say this despite the fact I am sure my panic is getting more and more visible as each day passes. It is getting closer and closer to moving day. It is going to be great because today is the day.

Today is the day. TODAY! I am positive, as always. I smile and I get dressed. I will wear my new Hawaiian print skirt. I got it on clearance to wear to say good-bye to my sister. I will wear it to work today for luck. I will smile at Jo Anna. I will make jokes with Arturo. I will answer the phone with a perkiness I have no idea where I get. I will work my final week in this town. I will be calm and everything will be taken care of when I leave. I do not need to worry. I know that today, today will be the day. That fabulous new job is coming for me.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Good Night... Not So Much

Things I Didn't Want To Hear This Late At Night

"Attention Bumper Boat Riders!"
Cars Revving
A Loud Motorcycle
The Downstairs Neighbors Fighting.... AGAIN!
A Kid On A Skateboard
Hooligans on Bikes
"Attention Go Kart Riders!"
Flashdance
Cats On The Window Banging The Blinds
Cats In My Bed Jingling Little Cat Bells
Cats Meowing Outside My Bedroom Door Because I Pitched Them Out

Sleep.... If You Can

Good Morning... Not So Much

Things I Didn’t Want To Hear Before 9:00 This Morning

The Garbage Truck
Carpet Cleaning People
Car Engines Revving
A Loud Motorcycle
The Downstairs Neighbors Fighting Again
A Hooligan Kid Trying To Do Skateboard Tricks
The Recycling Truck
Cats On The Window Banging The Blinds
Cats In My Bed Jingling Little Cat Bells
Cats Meowing Outside My Bedroom Door Because I Pitched Them Out

Friday, June 13, 2008

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thursday 13- Edition 11


Thirteen Things I HAVE TO Do By The End Of This Month

1. Get A New Job
2. Find A New House
3. Clean The Carpets
4. Finish Packing
5. Find A New Job
6. Get All The Laundry Done
7. Clean Out The Turtle Tank
8. Get A New Freakin' JOB!!
9. Scrub Out The Refrigerator
10. Donate Some Stuff To The DAV Thrift Store
11. Turn Off The Cable And Phone
12. Get A New Job
13. Did I Mention I Need To Get A New Job?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Still Jobless, Almost Homeless

Well, I still haven’t scored that perfect new job. I interviewed at the job my mom hooked me up with on the 30th but I still haven’t heard anything back from them. My mom still has her everything crossed in hopes I get a job there in the High Desert. She must be getting very cramped up with all that crossing. But things are looking up. I got an interview with a new logistics company in Victorville for next week sometime. I scored a phone interview with the University of Texas at Austin for tomorrow at 1:00. (3:00 to them) I am getting pretty desperate.

We have less than three weeks to get moved. It’s sort of a problem since we don’t exactly have a plan yet. Well, we do, but it’s kind of a wait and see plan. If I get a fabulous job in Austin, then we can afford to go to Austin. If not, we go to the High Desert. It’s closer and still relatively the same cost of living. I am applying for every job I can find in both Austin and in the High Desert. There are plenty to choose from in Austin, but I haven’t had many people with interest. Just a few temp agencies and a art gallery guy who has long since hired someone. This is my first interview with the university, but I have gotten many a no thank you letter from them. Unfortunately, the High Desert just doesn’t offer the same opportunity. But I am still swinging. I still haven’t given up hope on the one I already interviewed with.

It’s probably going to be the High Desert. (Sorry Austin rooters…) It’s closer and we just don’t have the funds to move blindly to a new area so far away. Maybe we can try that again later, with more time and money. (Or maybe I will get a fabulous job in Austin and be on my way…)

Up in the air…. I am ready to land now!

Friday, June 06, 2008

I NEED A NEW JOB!

I need a new job. One that doesn't give me time to do stuff like this. Oh yes, I am at work right now. I am drinking peach iced tea and doing these. Jo Anna is doing a crossword puzzle, Arturo is reading the paper, and the boss is golfing...












Thursday, June 05, 2008

Thursday 13- Edition 10



13 Things You Can Do To Make The World Just A Little Nicer


1. Always hold the door for people with strollers or wheelchairs.
2. Send flowers to your friend when she gets a new job.
3. Help elderly folks with getting their groceries to the car even though you don’t work at Albertson’s.
4. Buy lunch for a friend just because it takes her mind off of her terrible job.
5. Wave back to random little kids in strollers or shopping carts instead of pretending you can’t seem them waving.
6. Send cards in the mail to people you know for no reason.
7. Support small businesses.
8. Send fruit and food rather than flowers to someone when a loved one passes away. (Flowers are bright and cheerful, then wilt and die and are thrown away. Not exactly a good pick-me-up for someone in mourning, in my opinion.)
9. Politely and safely tell someone they are driving around with their gas tank open.
10. Always thank your child’s teacher.
11. Donate your unused things to charity.
12. Help short people reach items on high shelves if you are taller. (seriously... please)
13. Write a list of 13 reasons people should hire your daughter and put it on your blog.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Dona Nobis Pacem


peace

caring
responsible
honest
trustworthy

thats what I can do to give peace a chance

Dona Nobis Pacem


BlogBlast For Peace


There will be no Wordless Wednesday today. Sorry. Check back next week.

I was going to write some other stuff. I was mad, pissed off even. People have a lot of nerve and just don't think about what they are saying. Yes, you know who you are jerkasses...

But, peace seemed like a much better subject.

On Eve's blog, she wrote that peace begins at home. When you can achieve peace in your own family, you can then begin to achieve peace on Earth.

I haven't got much peace right now in my own life. I am sort of in limbo. I have 27 days to move out of my apartment. I don't want to stay where I am because it's too expensive and this job is going no where fast. I have been job hunting for months with very little to show for it... A few phone calls, an interview, some e-mails... but no job. I believe in karma and know that eventually I will find what I am looking for. But until I do, I am a wreck. I am not sleeping. I am barely eating. I argue with everyone.

This morning, my Grandpa got into a car accident. Luckily, he is okay. His car will never see another stop sign, but he is going to be fine. I don't think he'll drive again. It's okay, he has people who care and will drive him where ever he needs to go. He has good karma.

My sister is going to Hawaii. She and her husband are supposed to be there by July 6. She is so excited. My sister always has good things going for her. She makes me want to hit her sometimes, but I don't since she is my sister and decking your sister would be very bad karma, no matter what you think of her. No very peace loving either.

Today, is Wednesday, June 4, 2008. Good things will happen today. There is peace out there. Check out the other peace bloggers today at the Blogblast for Peace (Link at top).

Peace....

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

My Turn

Trisha got a new job....

Sarah got to find out where she is moving to...

IT'S MY TURN PEOPLE!!!!!!

Seriously, maybe some prayer would help... Pray to God, Pray To Buddha, Pray to Allah, Pray to the many Hindu Gods, whatever floats your boat, pray to the Earth Mother if you want.

Think good thoughts, send me good karma, send me well wishes...

Cross your fingers, cross your toes, cross your eyes, cross your legs... Be a pretzel.

If you want to... send money. I except cash.

In the immortal words of Catherine...

COME ON PEOPLE!!! IT'S MY TURN!!!!