Painting

Yesterday I made Chocolate chip Cookies they were Delicious. We also painted David made a ham scape. Catherine made a Pokemon painting it was really good. Then Davids computer broke.

A Day In The Life

What’s Your Name Again?

After being at the prison as long as I have been, I start to learn the inmates’ names. They all know my name. Whether they can say it or not is debatable but I also answer to Officer or C/O. However, some inmates have come up with some other amusing names for me. Here are a few of the main ones.

Peppermint Patty

Dora The Explorer

Strawberry Shortcake

Mrs. Potatohead

Thelma

Depending on the situation, I can take a little humor. Peppermint Patty and Thelma are probably the most common ones. They are usually said in a joking fashion and are tolerated with humor. Strawberry Shortcake usually is taken pretty well too.

Dora The Explorer… I was in a housing unit and there were a few young Hispanic inmates talking about me and calling me that in Spanish. I actually understood enough Spanish to know they were being jerks. So when I came in the next day, I went to their cells and cleaned up. I took their cardboard, the stolen food from the kitchen, and some ink bottles… all of which are contraband and not allowed anyway. When they came and asked me why I took their stuff, I told them I was exploring. They turned red and the counselor I was with laughed and laughed. She still calls me Dora when I see her. The inmates stopped though.

Mrs. Potatohead… I was in a housing unit one day and I found several gallons of a homemade alcohol called “White Lightning”. White Lightning is a very potent alcohol made with fermented potatoes. It is clear and easy to hide. To inmates it is worth a lot. I found so much and the guy who lived in the cell ended up going to segregation for it. After that I spent all day making sure I got it all and I confiscated every potato I could find. Hence the new name.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things I like to watch on tv

1. Glee
2. Big Time Rush
3. Wizards of Waverly Place
4. CSI
5. Victorious
6. Medium
7. Cold Case
8. The Simpson's
9. Sonny with a Chance
10. Good Luck Charlie
11. George Lopez
12. Desprie Housewives
13. Family Guy

Thursday Thirteen

Today's Thursday Thirteen is brought to you by David.

Thirteen Bands On David's Music Player (Which in his case is his phone.)

1. 30 Seconds To Mars
2. Audioslave
3. Daft Punk
4. Franz Ferdinand
5. Linkin Park
6. Metalica
7. Muse
8. Queen
9. Stone Temple Pilots
10. The Beatles
11. The Dead Weather
12. The Killers
13. Three Days Grace

Glee Episode

Glee was boring today not much happened. Kurts dad loves Fins mom. April came back and got Two million dollars and bought the auditorium. very boring. I made Brownies after and mom and David ate them.

Wordless Wednesday

Mojave River Forks Regional Park
April 15,2010

My favorite fruits

my favorite fruits are watermelon and strawberries

My favorite Flower

Wisteria is my favorite flower. There pretty.

Soccer Mom

In case anyone didn’t know yet, Catherine has given up softball in favor of soccer. She has had two games so far. They haven’t won yet. Her team is black and white. They are called the Black Flames . They came up with that name themselves. Her coach, Roxy, is a college student. She is 20. She graduated from Granite Hills here in town in 2008. She is nice and the girls all like her. Catherine seems to be having a good time. She likes to go, she made some friends on her team and isn’t nearly as afraid of the ball.



Catherine is still doing really well in school. We found out recently that they are moving the 6th grade out of the middle school and into the elementary schools. So she will continue to go to the same school next year rather than on to middle school. That is fine with me. I didn’t like the idea of her in that middle school anyway. Catherine really wants to do home school like Carolynn, but they have programs for 7th grade and up. If she still wants to, she can start 7th grade there. I think she is a little jealous of the attention Carolynn gets with her studies, plus the art and field trips. We try to include her in as much of that as possible. She made a Picasso painting.

David plays games with her and she has friends too. She is just such a Catherine. We like her that way. Maybe now that my car is fixed, we can get her out to a Dodger game or at least a Maverick’s game. She is excited about summer coming and concerts in the park. She wants to swim and go camping. Last night she slept over at her friend Cady’s house.

That is pretty much the life of Catherine. And no, her room is still not clean.

Gibs

Gibby is the cutest dog in the world. He loves everybody and when he walks he prances. He likes to hide chips every were. He also is the smallest dog we have. Also he likes to were clothes he likes people food to.

A Day In The Life

On Fire

On a random day I am walking around a housing unit. Most of the inmates are gone to lunch. I walk by a cell and I smell something funny, like something is burning. So I decided to go inside and have a look. Sometimes inmates light fires to cook up hooch, homemade alcohol. It doesn’t smell like a hooch making process is going on, but I look around anyway.

The cell is clean really. I lift the mattresses. I check coat pockets. Nothing unusual. I flip through the books on the desk and check the shoes under the bed. Still nothing. I am no longer expecting to find anything. It seems pretty clean. Then I see in the corner that the trash can is upside down and under a chair. This seems slightly odd but I think nothing of it.

I pick up the chair and put it aside. It is plastic, like lawn furniture. Then I bend down to pick up the trash can. I just go ahead and grab it full on. It is scorching. My hand is burning. I fling the trash can to the side and find a fire beneath. The trash can had been propped up with rolled magazines and a small fire was burning in a halved soda can. They were using the trash can to collect the soot to make ink for tattoos.

My hand was hurt, but very superficially. But now I was mad. So I begin going through their lockers. I took anything that wasn’t allowed; cardboard, ripped sheets, trash bags, and ripped clothes. I was pretty satisfied. I know I shouldn’t have “revenged” them, but they really shouldn’t have started that fire. Technically I could have written them an incident report for it. But I felt my “revenge” was sufficient. I was willing to overlook a small thing that hurt no one in order to maintain peace in a very violent atmosphere.

As I was leaving with my bag of pilfered goods, I decided to round out my search by checking the plumbing area. Underneath the sink there are holes. It is where the bolts and screws and such that hold it to the wall go. I felt something up there. It was long and felt like it had some cloth wrapped around it. It took some jimmying, but I managed to get it out. It was a shank, or homemade weapon. It was made from a very narrow copper pipe, just over 8 inches long and sharpened to a point on one end. The “handle” was made from shoe laces wrapped around the end. This could do some damage. This cannot be overlooked.

I took the weapon, the pilfered junk and left the cell. I locked it behind me. When the inmates returned from lunch, they came to me and asked me why I had secured their door. (I am sure they knew.) I told them of the strange smell, and the burning of my hand. I told them I got mad and took their junk. They were cool with that. It seemed fair and they apologized for the fire. That is when I mentioned I happened to check their sink area. I didn’t have to say what I had found. They looked at each other. I asked who was going to take the blame, as the sink is a common area to both of them. One of them volunteered and was sent down to the lieutenants’ office. He was sent to segregation to await a disciplinary hearing for the possession of a weapon. Another officer came and picked up the weapon and took it to be secured in the evidence locker. I packed what little property the guy had in his cell and someone came to pick it up. The remaining inmate apologized again and again. I wrote reports of what had happened as well as memos describing the incident.

A short time later, I had to go have medical staff look at my hand. It no longer hurt at all and had some slight blistering. The PA and the nurse were making fun, in a good humored way, about my serious injury. I just laughed.

Truthfully though, between the fire and the weapon, someone could have been hurt. Luckily, with my amazing skills and incredible luck, that day it was prevented.

A Moment Of Peace

Two days off is never long enough.

Both cars are fixed. Sure, it cost a fortune, but we managed. There will be no European vacations in the near future. But the bills will be payed and there will be food on the table.

Carolynn had a good birthday. I can't believe she is 14. Time flies by way to fast.

Earth Day projects were nice. Roses, jasmine and geraniums are planted. Tomato and chives too. All in the front yard because of the dogs.

Another month is almost over.

Evening Watch blows.

We finished Desperate Housewives Season 1. We watched the first 5 episodes of Season 2. It is awesome.

Our dinner was so good. I made a veggie risotto. It was so awesome, we ate the whole pan of it. We also had garlic grilled chicken and roasted asparagus. Very healthy for our Earth Day dinner.

The sky is so clear. Earlier it was cloudy and cold. Now we can see the stars. We couldn't see the stars in San Diego. Unless we were at the ocean. I do miss the ocean. The sound was comforting to me.

Good Night people of the world. May tomorrow bring peace. And prisoners, you know, to keep me employed. :)

Earth Day

For Earth Day we went out and planted some plants. We planted flowers, chives, and tomato's. We also weeded and raked. Were using less electricity as possible and recycling. Were also making a earth day dinner witch will be good.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things You Can Have With Peanut Butter

1. Apples
2. Celery
3. Grape Jelly
4. Strawberry Jam
5. Chocolate
6. Brownies
7. Cookies
8. Tortillas
9. Toast
10. Pancakes
11. Honey
12. Bananas
13. Scrambled Eggs- Because David is NASTY

A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far Away

Once upon a time, about 14 years ago, I had this tiny little baby. I called her Carolynn, because that was the name of a Cabbage Patch Kid I had and frankly I was hardly more than a kid when I had her. I would do anything for that kid. I walked all over Apple Valley to make sure she got food or whatever she needed. I spent three days in the hospital when she was 15 months old after she had some seizures. We traveled by bus everywhere. There were times when the only furniture I owned was for Carolynn. I slept on the floor.

Over the years things have gotten better. Carolynn got bigger. She went from being my tiny baby to my little Lamb Chop loving toddler, then to my Spice Girl loving little princess. She went off to kindergarten… she made it through elementary school. She is nearly done with junior high. She no longer loves Spice Girls and Lamb Chop. She likes Kingdom Hearts and collectible Barbies. She no longer begs to wear her favorite Barney shirt, but asks for skinny jeans in neon colors. She no longer wants to swing from the tree in my mom’s front yard, she is way too tall. She is taller than me. She wears make-up and bras. She isn’t my little princess any more.

There have been some ups and downs, that is for sure. Now she is home schooled. We have been spending more time together this way.

Today she is 14. She had big plans today. They included school, swim team, breakfast with her mom, getting fried chicken for dinner and eating chocolate cake. It didn’t turn out as planned. She slept late. We went to breakfast. She wanted a breakfast burrito from Jack In The Box. With all the car issues, I hadn’t had a chance to buy her gifts. So we went shopping. She got a Kingdom Hearts game for her new DS. She got a new book. She got a couple of necklaces and a shirt. She got a new boom-box to play her iPod. Later, we will finish schoolwork and art. Swim practice got canceled. There will be fried chicken.

Happy Birthday Carolynn.

May the next 14 years be a million times better than the first.



*********************************

Also, both cars are fixed and my checking account is much emptier… $1600 emptier. EWWWW.

Glee Episode

Glee was the Madonna episode lots of cheer leaders in that episode. Kurt ad Marcades joined the cheer leaders. Unfortunately American idol ruined the ending so I'll need to wait till Friday to see the end. Sue is still crazy with the jokes on the teachers hair.

Betty

Betty is a weird cat she likes to nom on fingers and meow at the most inconvenienced time. Were ever you walk there will be a Betty. Plus Betty likes to go outside a lot I'm not sure what she does out there but shes out there. She sleeps in the oddest places like under my feet or in the biggest dog bed and all the dogs fit in the small ones. She is a weird cat.

My Really Wierd Cat

This morning my cat Betty attempted to jump from Davids desk chair to the window seal. She was trying to get pets from David when I walked in the room. Realizing I just walked into the living room and sat down on the couch she thought she would make a round trip to the couch to get me to pet her. In this event attempting to jump from Davids desk chair to the window seal. Unfortunately in her attempt she face planted into the window fell back falling into a mountain of cans onto the floor running like the wind leaving me and David laughing.

Radiators and Oil

My car is a large hunk of junk. But in a few months, it will be all mine.

In February, I had a bunch of repairs done on it. I spent over $1000 on brakes, wheel hubs and wheel bearings as well as some other stuff. Then recently, I noticed the car running a little hot. It overheated. I stopped driving it and went back to driving David’s truck. The Chrysler dealership said I needed a new radiator. They wanted to charge me near $1000 for a radiator. I said no thanks.

I left it in the garage to wait until I could afford the repair. I drove David’s truck and worked a ton of overtime. But before I could get paid, David’s truck broke. I ended up renting a car last week on Monday. My brother’s wife, Nicole, found us a place that could do a new radiator for just over $300. So we had it towed over there Tuesday. The mechanic is the first one that ever didn’t make me feel I was being ripped off. His name is Javier. Nicole was going to lend me the money to get the radiator so I could have my car back. I got paid today.

But when Javier got it, he found the radiator to be fine. He found some major engine problems. He started talking about replacing the engine. I freaked out. He said he would start calling around and get me a price. But when he called me the next morning, he asked me if he could take it for a second opinion. I agreed. He called me and found that it looks like it can be repaired. It is still expensive and we won’t know for sure until later this week.

David’s truck is still not working. It seems to have a starter problem and it definitely has an oil leak. David’s dad gave him the money to fix it up, so we are going to ask Javier to give us an estimate. Hopefully by the end of the week we have two working cars.

Until then, I am still renting this Dodge. It is small and funny. It is costing me an arm and a leg until then, but at least I can get to work and get the girls to schools and practices. And it looks like more overtime for me. I worked five 16 hour days last pay period. I only got paid for two due to clerical error. I will get the other three on my next paycheck in two weeks. It sucks because we could really have used that money now. I have already worked one extra shift this week, with plans to do at least a couple more. So don’t expect much from me until all of this is taken care of. I will be in prison.

Paul Revere, Lewis and Clark, And A Bunch Of Indians…

Homeschooling has been going a lot better. At first, I had been focusing on only what the school gave us. Basically, here is a packet and a book, now go. There was no instruction for Carolynn or for me to give her. She was struggling and I was frustrated. But after talking to Carolynn, her teacher, and several other wise people, we came up with a new system. Rather than letting her work on her packets at her leisure, which was obviously was not happening; we have implemented a more stringent regiment.

We have a school schedule. We get up at a certain time; we do math at math time, history at history time, ect. Next, I read her lessons ahead and supplement them. Before Spring Break, she was learning about inventors in the early 1900’s and we found videos about The Wright Brothers, Alexander Graham Bell, and others. I even found a physics video that went with what she was learning in science. We even did a science experiment. This week she was learning about Paul Revere in language arts and I found a virtual tour of his home and route online. I found something similar to go along with her Lewis and Clark studies.

We added weekly projects. For example, she had been reading the book Sing Down The Moon by Scott O’Dell. She was interested in learning more about Native Americans. So this week, we have been doing some extra learning about Native Americans. We found some worksheets online and some literature to read. We got a Native American beading kit online and she learned to do that. On Thursday, we learned about the Mojave Indians online and went to the Mojave River Forks to hike. Then we made a Native American corn and bean chowder and corn muffins for dinner. Finally, she wrote a short essay.

Next week, she wants to learn some stuff about China. I found worksheets and guides and China facts. Plus we will make egg rolls and drink Chinese tea from our Chinese tea set. We got some fancy pens and paper to do Chinese symbols on. We have a few more good ideas for weekly projects. We are going to do one on the California Gold Rush (David’s idea) and incorporate a trip to Calico Ghost Town. We are going to do a project on local history and check out some sites. Perhaps a British project would be cool. There is a lot of history there. If you have any good ideas, send them our way.

We have added Art Project Wednesday. Carolynn takes 6 classes; language arts, history, math, science, reading and PE. No art. So, on Wednesday, we have art. The first week, we watched a video about the art of Picasso, and then painted Picasso inspired paintings. This week we had the Native American beading, and next week we are doing Chinese symbols. I have some more ideas for music and art in the future. As always, if you have any good art ideas, send them my way.

We have also added Field Trip Thursday. (Incidentally, I have Wednesday and Thursday off every week.) We went on a simple shopping trip and to the bookstore one week, this week we went hiking, next week we are going to Lowe’s for some stuff for our Earth Day project. (Next Thursday is Earth Day.) Then there is the planned Calico Trip, the local sites to visit, and some other stuff. Again, ideas are appreciated.

Carolynn’s adviser in school has agreed to tutor Carolynn in math. That is her worst subject and I am no help. So now she goes on Friday’s for an hour of tutoring with a teacher.

Finally, to make sure she wasn’t skipping PE, Carolynn joined the Apple Valley Wave Swim Team. She has practices four times a week. She gets plenty of exercise and even has made some friends. Despite the fact that she claims it is awful and she hates it and she is being forced to do it against her will, she doesn’t like to miss practice. (She had to miss a couple because of the car trouble we have been having. More on that later.)

Homeschooling isn’t so bad any more. Unfortunately, by the time I implemented this new program, Carolynn was pretty far behind. She was supposed to use Spring Break to get caught up, but it didn’t work out to well. This unit that started on Monday is all on the new plan so she won’t have a chance to get behind. The rest of this school year should be a breeze. And next year should go even smoother. We decided to stick with this same school since they offer some things that the other one didn’t… school sports, dances and field trips.

DSI

My dad got me a D.S.I for my birthday it takes pictures and does cool stuff. I have a picture of Catherine and she has a cat nose. You can also make flip notes there fun to play with. Me and Catherine made one of a guy getting hit by a car.

Hike

Yesterday we went hiking it was very pretty. We went hiking at a river. There was flowers every were and I got really pretty pictures of flowers. We also took the dogs Gibby and Drizella and they ran all around. It was really hot and we hiked up a hill but it was still cool.

A Day In The Life

Piss and Vinegar

(As with previous stories, please be aware that there may be foul language and inappropriate content. It is a prison after all, and not all inmates are polite. My goal is to give you a pretty clear idea of my job.)

Despite our best efforts, inmates still manage to get drunk. They brew up hooch out of tomatoes, apples, oranges, or potatoes. Basically anything that can ferment; they can and will make alcohol out of it.

On this occasion, some time ago, two inmates were found drunk in a housing unit. They are brought to a special housing for disciplinary segregation. They are placed in a holding cell to await intake. I am assigned to do their intake. Basically I am going to ask them their names and what size clothes they wear. I will also ask them if they are taking any medication or are on any special diet.

I go upstairs to accomplish this task. This is my first time seeing who the intoxicated inmates are. I have met them many times before, not drunk, out and about in my regular days. I don’t know their names or personal information. I stand outside the door and ask them for names. I can smell the hooch through the door. I ask again, “What are your names?”

They think they are so clever. They ask what my name is. I know they know. But I tell them anyway. I ask them again for their names. That is kind of where it all kind of goes crazy.

One of them begins screaming at me. “You don’t represent me you bitch. I am a (enter Native American Indian tribe name here). You cannot represent me. I will not tell you anything!” He begins kicking the door and hitting it with his fists. He is just screaming at me. I just smile and nod. The other inmate in the room with him is pointing and dancing, indicating that the screaming guy is crazy. Then he falls down. I gave up asking for names and left.

I come back a short time later and the one starts screaming at me again. I am a bitch and he is giving me the finger. I see the other is laying on the floor, pressed up against the door. I was concerned that he had been hurt falling down because he was so drunk or possibly his friend had beat him up. Then I notice what he is doing. He has wedged himself up under the door and is peeing under the door in an effort to pee on my shoes. I walk away and an inmate orderly cleans it up. But now they are mad. Again, the one begins screaming and the other again tries to pee under the door. Again, I ignore them and again the orderly mops.

I leave that area to do some other things. The orderly comes to me and tells me that now both of the drunken inmates in the holding cell are “pissing like racehorses”. They are calling my name and telling me that it was all for me. I try not to let it phase me. They are calling me a bitch and giving me the finger and just peeing everywhere. I just laugh and smile. They are ridiculous. But it is time to go home.

We tell the incoming officers what has happened that day, including the peeing drunks. The lieutenant tells them to leave them there until they sober up and to be careful and get some more people to come to help them if they need to. I went home and took a shower.

I wonder what they thought after they sobered up and were covered in their own pee.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I Found In The Girls Rooms While Looking For The Stapler

So, I was looking for a stapler one day. I was doing some bills, taxes, school stuff, ect., and I needed a stapler. Carolynn said we had several staplers so I went and I bought some staples and brought them home. Of course, David and the girls were not home. They went to the sporting goods store for soccer equipment and swimming stuff. So I went to look for it. This is what I found...

1. A Bag of Pistachios (Carolynn’s Room)
2. Toothpaste Under The Bed (Carolynn’s Room)
3. A Bag Of Sunflower Seeds (Catherine’s Room)
4. A Box Of Candy Wrappers (Carolynn’s Room)
5. An Empty Happy Meal Box (Carolynn’s Room)
6. A Stitch Remover (Catherine’s Room)
7. Empty Monster Cans And Boxes (Carolynn’s Room)
8. A Large Rock (Both Rooms Had At Least 1 Large Rock)
9. A Partially Burnt Piece Of Paper That Said “Today I start with a day of love, peace and happiness because today is a new day and I’ll make it happen.” (Carolynn’s Room)
10. An Unopened Box Of Lip Gloss From Christmas 2008 (Carolynn’s Room)
11. A Powder Puff In A Drawer Full Of Pencils (Catherine’s Room)
12. A Broken Camera (Catherine’s Room)
13. A Bottle Of Fabreeze (Catherine’s Room)

Amazingly enough, I didn’t find the stapler. I had to wait for the girls to get home and ask them to find it. When she finds it, it is full of staples.

Glee Episode

I watched glee yesterday and the video after the show was kind of weird. Kurt looked funny and so did Sue. The episode was good tho. I think Rachel's boyfriend is just using her. I can't wait till the next episode it will be ten Maddona songs.

Wordless Wednesdays

Green sea turtle my favorite animal.

Wordless Wednesday

Official Soccer Mom Picture
April 7, 2010
Apple Valley, California

very weird cat things

My cat muffins likes tuna. Everyday when I wake up shes there asking for tuna. Sometimes even Betty is there aka big fat cat. Muffins also likes to eat Top Ramon and Mac en cheese also ice cream. Yes I know she is a very weird cat.

A Day In The Life

Officers Can Be Wrong

Despite what some people believe, inmates are people and have rights. We cannot just stick them in a cell and leave them there, feeding them only bread and water.

On a random day I am standing outside housing units during a regular move. Inmates are going to or returning from recreation areas. I am standing with another officer. He is a nice guy. I have not met him before. (There are a lot of people working there. There is no way to know them all. Plus new people start regularly.) As we are standing there chatting about the rainy weather, an inmate approaches the other officer and starts asking him questions about something that was taken from his cell. Officers regularly go through cells and remove contraband. It is part of our job. The officer tells him that he took it and no, he wasn’t giving it back. He also informs the inmate that now is not the time to discuss it.

After the inmate leaves, I ask the officer what he took. I happen to know that inmate and I also happen to know that he has a bit of a mental disorder. He is very OCD and can get rather belligerent when his order is messed with. However, he is usually a big rule follower and his cell doesn’t usually contain contraband. I have searched it myself previously. (That’s how I learned about the OCD. I left a speck of dust on his blanket and I slightly messed his perfectly made bed.) The officer tells me that he took stamps. Stamps, though seemingly boring, can be contraband. Stamps are regularly used by inmates as a way to buy and sell things to each other and to gamble. Both of those practices are not allowed. Therefore, we limit the amount of stamps one inmate can possess. They are allowed the equivalent of three books or 60 individual first class stamps, which works out to $26.40 worth.

According to the officer, this inmate had about 100 stamps. Anything over the limit is contraband. Therefore, the officer took them. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, the inmate had complained to a case manager that he was not over the limit and the officer was wrong and had made a mistake. So the case manager asked to see the stamps. Well, it turned out, the inmate was right. A lot of his stamps were one cent stamps and when added together, he only had about $22 worth of stamps. His stamps were then returned to him. I also found out that the officer was new and was only aware of the 60 stamp limit and not the value limit.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen of my favorite Pokemon
1.Garitina
2.Arceus
3.Azelf
4.Uxie
5.Mesprit
6.Regigigas
7.Darkriai
8.Deoxys
9.Cresselia
10.Palkia
11.Dialga
12.Phione
13.Manaphy

Thursday Thirteen

My sister in law, Nicole, sells Scentsy products. It's a home based business (like Tuppeware or Party Lite) where you do parties and such to sell the product. In this case the product is flame-less melters and wax melts. Surprisingly, the product was not as expensive as I thought it was going to be. I have been to my share of these "parties" over the years, and some of the products can be expensive. Anyway, Nicole had a party not too long ago to jump start her new business and I bought a melter for me and one for my friend Trisha. I got some wax melts too. They had so many flavors of melts it was hard to choose.

Thirteen Favorite Scentsy Fragrances.

1. Ocean
2. Rustic Lodge
3. Cucumber Lime
4. Coconut Lemongrass
5. Enchanted Mist
6. Calypso
7. Simply Irresistible
8. Honey Pear Cider
9. Welcome Home
10. Cinnamon Vanilla
11. Mulberry Bush
12. Skinny Dippin'
13. Clean Breeze

Wordless Wednesday

Laughing at Joe looking for eggs.

Catherine and her loot.

Allison and her loot.

All Nathan really wanted was the remote

Allison offering to share.

Joe looking for eggs.

Nathan getting doggy kisses. I think he may have had potato salad on his face.

A Day In The Life

It’s A Man’s World

I know what I do is not typically considered “woman’s work”. I work in male prisons. Only about 27% of Bureau employees are women. That includes teachers, secretaries, nurses and all that as well as the officers. If you count just the officers, that percent is much lower. I am used to being surrounded by men, both staff as well as inmates. Most of the staff are super people. I would say 85% of all staff I have met are awesome. The other 15% though… (There are some women included in that too.)

This is how I see the men that fall into that “other” 15%. Totally my own observations and opinions here.

The Chivalry Guy- This guy will not let me do anything. He won’t let me lift things, or do anything dirty. “I will get the trash.” “I will get that box.” “I will escort that inmate.” You get the picture. This is usually the same guy who is complaining to other guys about how he has to do my job for me because I can’t. I hate working with that guy.

The Women-Should-Do-Everything-If-They-Want-To-Work-Here Guy- He is the opposite of the Chivalry Guy. He makes me do everything. Even the stuff I can’t. I can’t lift a 100lb box. I will never make it down the stairs with this giant bag of trash. I can’t. Impossible. Well, then I shouldn’t work there. This guy thinks that if I can’t do everything he can, I shouldn’t be there. He also goes out of his way to make it as difficult as possible. He is a jerk and after a day with that guy I am usually exhausted.

The Looking-For-A-Fight Guy- Just what it says...

The Lazy Dude- Does nothing. He comes in, does as little as possible and leaves. I hate working with that guy or after that guy.

The I-Never-Spoke-To-A-Woman Guy- This guy is usually an okay guy. He just doesn’t seem to know what to say. And then he usually says something inappropriate. Yes, I am a girl. It’s okay.

The Everything-A-Woman-Says-Is-A-Pick-Up Guy- Yep, I really hate this guy. If I am the least bit polite to this guy, obviously I want to go home and sex him up immediately.

The Everything-He-Says-Is-A-Pick-Up Guy- Oh yeah, if you have boobs, he will ask you out.

The worst ones are when they are combo guys… those last three ones are frequently all in one really creepy guy. Chivalry Guy and Looking-For-A-Fight Guy are also often the same guy. Same with Lazy Dude and Women-Should-Do-Everything-If-They-Want-To-Work-Here Guy.

But really most of them are

The Nice-Family-Guy-Who-Is-Easy-To-Work-With-And-Is-There-If-You-Need-A-Hand Guys.

I like those ones.

How Snorlax Got His Name

You know the Pokemon Snorlax, well if you don't there's a picture of him. Snorlax sleeps a lot. Well, Munchlax evolves into Snorlax. Munchlax is a medium sized Pokemon that is just like Snorlax except he isn't as fat and doesn't sleep a lot, he eats a lot. The only reason Snorlax is sooo fat is because Munchlax ate to much! Because Snorlax is sooo fat he can't do anything but sleep. That's the reason Snorlax is Snorlax.


Munchlax
It wolfs down its weight in food once a day,
swallowing food whole with almost no chewing.

TYPE: NORMAL
HEIGHT: 2'0"
WEIGHT: 231.5 lbs



Snorlax
Its stomach can digest any kind of food,
even if it happens to be moldy or rotten.

TYPE: NORMAL
HEIGHT: 6'11"
WEIGHT: 1014.1 lbs

Snorlax is 273.3 lbs heavier than Palkia,
but Dialga is 491.7 lbs heavier than Snorlax.

PALKIA: 1287.4
DIALGA: 1505.8

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen More Things On David’s Desk

1. Master Chief from Halo
2. Bahamut from Final Fantasy
3. Timon from The Lion King
4. Maggie Simpson
5. Charles Xavier from X-Men
6. A ceramic dog holding a shoe
7. Sally… the cute little Porsche from the movie Cars.
8. Mumble from Happy Feet
9. The Cat Pot
10. Daisy and a Shy Guy from Super Mario Bros.
11. Peanut M&M Man
12. Megazord from Power Rangers
13. A Miscellaneous Dragon