A Day In The Life

Busted

I had enough of seeing this particular inmate’s penis all day. He had recently arrived in the Special Housing and we had not found a place to put him yet. So he was waiting in a large shower room. This room was right near the gate that lead down to a row of cells. So every time I went over there to do rounds or to pass out food or whatever, there he was, penis in hand. Not only that, I wasn't the only female in the Special Housing unit that day so she was also getting the show. So I go speak with another officer in order to see if we can get him moved elsewhere. That officer, being a guy, had never seen or heard what those kind of inmates do. He also felt that the incident reports would mean more if I had some back up.

So it was decided that I would walk over there. Someone had put a hand held metal detector on the sign-in board over there and I was simply going to go get it. While I was getting it, two male officers were going to stand just out of sight and try and catch him in the act. I was to signal when he whipped it out.

I walked up to retrieve that metal detector. As I walked up, the two other officers got into place. I picked up the metal detector and checked the sign-in sheet. As soon as he saw I was there, the inmate had an important question for me.

“Hey C.O., you want me to pull out my dick for you?”

I whipped around and all of the sudden, he was a totally different inmate. He was dressed, he was calmly asking me if they had found a cell for him yet. I told him we were working on it and walked away.

He must have seen the other two officers somehow. They didn't get to witness the act, but they heard his first question. So after I walked away, they went over and had a few words with the inmate about his behavior.

No thanks, I really don't want to see your penis.

A Day In The Life

No Disrespect

I was doing rounds in the Special Housing Unit. I walk by a cell and the window is covered preventing me from seeing the inmates inside. The paper that is covering the window has a note. It's a really nice note too.

It says

“I think you are hot and tasty. I wish I could fuck you. Can you watch while I jack off? No disrespect intended.”

Nope, no disrespect there.

I yell into the cell for them to uncover the window. No one does, but I can see part of an inmates hand holding the note in place. Okay. I yell that they should enjoy the shots I am about to write them.

There were three inmates in that cell. I wrote incident reports for all of three. They say the inmates were refusing to obey an order by not taking down the sweet note and they were making sexual proposals to staff.

I found out a little letter that they showed that same love note to a counselor who was doing rounds. She gave him an earful. No disrespect though.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Songs That Remind Me Of The Time Before I Even Went To Elementary School

(Yes, I realize this totally dates me, but you can just shut your pie hole.)

1. Take Me Home Country Roads- John Denver
2. Moonshadow- Cat Stevens
3. Leaving On A Jet Plane- Peter, Paul and Mary
4. Jennifer Juniper- Donavan
5. The 59th Street Bridge Song- Simon and Garfunkel
6. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown- Jim Croce
7. Puff The Magic Dragon- Peter, Paul and Mary
8. Blowin In The Wind- Peter, Paul and Mary
9. Song, Sung, Blue- Neil Diamond
10. Brand New Key- Melanie
11. Nights In White Satin- The Moody Blues
12. Mellow Yellow- Donavan
13. You Don't Mess Around With Jim- Jim Croce

I totally know every word to every one of these songs.

Just sayin...

Wordless Wednesday

Tiny Nathan Feet
Picture Taken By Nathan
December 2010
Victorville, California