Thursday, June 30, 2011

Science Is Useful

At the end of the school year Carolynn had to do a science project. Her science project was titled “Which Laundry Additive Gets Stains Out Best”. We had fun and we learned something new.

First we started with a brand new pack of socks. David is now wearing them. Then we poured red Kool-Aid on them and let them sit over night. It left stains on our kitchen table. We didn't care. That kitchen table is old and the dog chewed one of the chairs.

First we used Clorox bleach. It got the socks pretty clean. There was some residual pink. Then we tried the Clorox 2. That left the most pink. We tried some Wal-Mart brand bleach. That worked about the same as the Clorox bleach. Finally, we used Borax. I never used Borax before. But it worked beautifully. No pink left and the socks were really white. It was awesome.

Now we have been using it in all of our laundry. It works wonders.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Eat It Or Wear It

Not to be out shined by her sister, this week in part 6 of my series of embarrassing pictures, I give you Catherine, and he amazing eating habits.

Even with her sister's help, Catherine still manages to get food on her head.


Catherine's first birthday. She had a "Bear In The Big Blue House" cake. That was a brilliant plan. She was blue for days.


All clean... at least for five minutes


Friday, June 24, 2011

A Day In The Life

Rated R

Visitors come in to visit on weekends. At the camp where we have female inmates, a lot of kids come to visit their mothers. We have games for them to play. We have a kids room where they can watch cartoons.

Parents come and husbands and wives come to visit. They are allowed to sit and hold hands and chat. They can play cards and eat snacks.

Sometimes, they want to do other things.

There is only one officer in visiting at the camp. I process in visitors. I check their identification, make sure they are approved, and make sure they are within the dress code. Then I search them with a hand held metal detector, sort of like the airport. Then I call the inmate, and I have to process her in. I go in a little back room and write down everything she is wearing. Then I do a pat search and she goes out to see her visitor. When they are done, I pat search her again, sometimes I have to strip search her, and check that she came out with the same stuff she came in with. In between that, I walk around and make sure everyone is behaving.

As you can see, I am very busy. And I can't possibly see everything.

One day after visiting is over, several inmates and a couple of visitors told me that one of the other inmates was acting inappropriately during visit. According to them, every time I left the room to process an inmate in or out, the inmate and her visiting boyfriend would start kissing and groping one another. Since I didn't see it, there was little I could do.

Once everyone was cleared from visiting, I called the inappropriate inmate up to the office. I along with another officer, tell her in no uncertain terms, that this will never happen again. The inmate apologized. She begged forgiveness. She promised never to do it again. She claims she is embarrassed and shocked by her behavior.

Over the next few days, she apologized again and again.

A month or so later...

Same inmate gets a visit from that same boyfriend. But this time people don't wait until after visiting to begin telling me what she and her boyfriend are up to.

Now I am on alert. I am watching them. And I see him with his hand on her crotch. And before I could say anything, he had his hand up her shirt and she had her hand in his pants.

OMG!

Then they see me coming at them. The break it up and decided to end their visit. She was crying when she went back to her room.

And she didn't have any more visits again while she was incarcerated there.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Water Baby

And now for a change, with part 5 in my series of embarrassing pictures.

I give you tubby time with Carolynn.






Friday, June 17, 2011

A Day In The Life

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

One day I was in a regular housing unit. But it wasn't your typical day. The previous night that unit had some trouble. Some inmate decided it would be cool to try and fight an officer over some prison brewed wine. Luckily that officer is very good and we are all trained to respond appropriately to situations like that. No one got hurt and the inmate was placed in the Special Housing Unit. Apparently, while all this was going on, other inmates took the opportunity to beat up another inmate and leave him bleeding in a shower.

Awesome.

So the unit was locked down.

So far that morning, people had come in to do interviews and then they checked people for injuries. I was walking around a lot and making sure everyone was behaving. Then it was lunch time.

Since they were on lock down, lunch consisted of four slices of wheat bread, two packets of peanut butter, two packets of grape jelly, four cookies and a little bag of pretzels all packaged in a little box. So I set out to give one box to each inmate. Some complain, but most take them without a fuss. After I passed out the lunches to the very last cell. I began gathering the packing boxes and cart that they came on.

That's when I heard the song. It was this song.



But it was being sung by an inmate and the words were about peanut butter and jelly. So I look into the cell. There are two Hispanic inmates, they are young and they are dancing. They are doing a Beyonce booty shaking dance and singing about the sandwiches.

I just cracked up. Then they saw me. One of them turned red and sat on his bed. The other one just laughed. He said he had to have fun with something. Then he went back to his booty shaking.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Nutritional Value

One of the things my therapist told me to do was eat right and exercise. I have been working on it. One of the first things I did was start taking vitamins. I have been feeling a lot better. I started with a basic multivitamin. I like One A Day Women's Active Metabolism. So it was a start on the right path. And I wasn't going down that path all alone. The whole family got on board. David is taking One A Day Men's Health Formula. Carolynn is taking One A Day Teen Advantage. Well, she would be taking it if she could swallow. They are not too big. She just has troubles. Catherine is taking Flintstone's Complete Chewable. She is getting big though, so once she finishes those, I am switching her to the ones Carolynn takes.

I also thought I might start taking some calcium. My grandma had weak bones and osteoporosis. I don't want to develop it and I don't want to wait until I am old to start prevention. David is taking them too. Good for the old bones.

We are all also taking Vitamin C. Because an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

And then finally, we are all also taking Omega 3 Fish Oil. It's good for your heart.

We all got little pill boxes to keep all of our vitamins ready for each day. So far I have remembered to take them almost everyday. I do feel better. It's a start. Try it. Find something that works for you. Ask your doctor or pharmacist.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Speaking Of Joe

Welcome to part 4 of my series of embarrassing pictures. Last week we all enjoyed some fabulous shots of my brother Joe. This week, another guy I know named Joe.

I give you Joey Beaudet, the early years.

Feet are the clear choice for childhood entertainment.


And when you are tired out by feet play, sleeping with your butt in the air is the obvious choice.


Cuppies are serious business.


This wagon is apparently not good enough for Joey.


Perhaps this is his mean face. And even making the mean face, he still has to eat his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Required

It's summer time. The weather is looking good and this desert is starting to look dull. It's time to get out. David and the girls have been wanting to go camping so I think it's about time.

But where?

I need a place that is not too far since we can only go on my off days and if I am lucky I might even get two together.

It has to be green. I am all set with desert.

We need some hiking. That's my favorite part of these adventures. I would like some place pet friendly so my Gibby can come too. He also enjoys hiking.

Some place that's not a million miles from civilization, in case I forget to bring something. I do that.

Finally, we'd like to try some fishing. I haven't fished since I was a little girl and don't even know what I need to do it. But we want to try it. David and the girls never fished before.

So who knows a good place that meets those criteria? Anyone? I need help. If I have to look at this brown for much longer, I am going to scream. The plan is to go midweek to avoid crowds and hopefully sometime next month.

Friday, June 10, 2011

A Day In The Life

In The Dark

One day, I was working in everyone's favorite local Special Housing Unit, when the power went out. It happens. We were sort of expecting it as we had been told that they would be working on it. It gets pretty dark, even though it is around 11:00 am. Because the Special Housing Unit is the most secure part of the institution, windows are not prevalent. Each cell has a small window to the outside and one small window that faces inside, so officers can check on them. Inmates often cover their windows and sleep all day. So, as you can imagine, it is dark. We have flashlights to check on inmates every 30 minutes as required.

Since it is dark, us officers are all standing around the one window and door that leads outside. But it is cold outside so we don't go out there. Then I hear something. It sounds like water running. A lot of running water. I left my flashlight in the office, so I borrow one from another officer and flash it toward the sound.

Coming from under and around the door of a cell is water. Lots of water. Toilet water. And other gross stuff.

Really?

Why?

So the lieutenant in charge goes down there to ask the inmate what his deal was.

He doesn't like the dark.

Of course.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Because I'm Worth It

If you may recall, I had been feeling a wee bit stressed as of late. (See previous posts here and here.) Okay, so a wee bit stressed was clearly understating the fact that I was a hot mess. I needed help. I needed help from a pro.

So I went to a therapist. She has been helping me deal with the stress and anxiety. She gives me a place I can vent. She helps me find ways to manage my stress. She helps me to cope with my anxiety with out drugs, and advised me to speak to my doctor just in case I did require medication.

You know what, it's working. It's been bumpy. But so far, I feel better.

The first thing she told me was that I had to take better care of me.

She told me I had to get better sleep. I was so stressed I wasn't sleeping. I would be in my bed just thinking about horrible and stressful things and I couldn't turn it off. That was my main problem. If you don't sleep, nothing else is going to be any good. I wasn't sleeping. Therefore, I wasn't eating. I was too tired to cook or chew. Then I missed several days of work, because I just couldn't function. It's not safe for me to be at work in that state. Then I was totally over reacting to everything. I was a serious wreck. Especially since the next things on her list were to eat better, exercise, spend time with people you enjoy, and do enjoyable activities.. So, who wants to hang out with a crazy tired lady? No one.

But I had to do something.

And I have been. And I am getting a lot better.

One of the things she suggested I try is a journal. Write down what I am doing, how I am feeling. What works. What doesn't. And since I figure I am not the only person in the universe who has issues, I thought I would share it here.

And so, here we go. Together. Because every thing is better with friends.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

No One Cooler

Part 3 in my series of pictures to embarrass male family members...

The many moods and styles of my brother Joe.

Teen aged Joe reads Carolynn a book.


Clearly the Navy is serious business.


These people are the coolest of the cool. I wonder if he even remembers these people.


Perhaps Carolynn thinks he has bad breath.


It takes skill to be this awesome.



Hanging with the kids in Wisconsin.

Friday, June 03, 2011

A Day In The Life

A Terrible Mix Up

It was after hours one night at my favorite women's prison camp. I was doing rounds and locking up when and inmate came rushing over to me. She said she had a big problem and if I didn't help her her life would be ruined.

I told her to calm down but she continued to ramble on about never seeing her kids again, losing her whole life, and her baby. (She was pregnant when she first came, but her husband had the baby and her other children now.)

Finally she calms down and she tells me what happened.

What had happened was...

She was writing letters. She wrote to her husband, you know the one who has the kids and brings them every couple of weeks to visit. Then she wrote one to her boyfriend. Yep. Some other guy, who just got out of prison himself. And then, to make this so much better. She put the boyfriend's letter in the envelope addressed to her husband. Then put it in the locked mail box.

Oops.

After I finished laughing, and my side stopped hurting, I retrieved the adulteress' letter so she wouldn't lose her visits with her kids since she still had several years left of incarceration.

And then I laughed some more.