One fabulous day, an inmate arrived at a certain women's prison camp. She is very pretty. We call her Megan Fox, because there is quite a resemblance. From almost the very first day she arrived she started hanging around with another inmate, inmate K. Inmate K is a nice enough inmate. At that point she had never been in trouble. But inmate K took a liking to Megan Fox and they became quite the couple.
Before you knew it, they were getting written up for being out of bounds, in one another's beds, and so on. But when they realized that they lost privileges over that, they tried to straighten up. They were still a couple. Always together. Other officers and I spent time trying to catch the two of them. Several times we saw them in the movie room with the lights off. But we never were able to catch them at anything. But we were sure they were sneaking kisses in.
Inmate K liked to talk. So I knew her whole life story... and she was out and proud. Since Megan Fox got with her right away, we assumed that she too was gay.
We were wrong.
Or were we?
One day, I was at the camp and Megan Fox was all excited because her mom was coming to visit that weekend. I had never seen her mom. She had only visited once before. But she was very excited. I was happy for her. She was telling me that this week was her turn since inmate K had her mom visit the previous weekend.
Wait... Back up.
The previous weekend inmate K's mom and aunt visited. During the visit, I caught Megan Fox trying to sneak a peek at inmate K and her mom. Since I was feeling nice, I pointed it out to inmate K and even let Megan Fox wave real quick through the glass door so inmate K's mom could get a good look at her. Then I shooed her on her way.
Okay, so back to Megan Fox and her mom. The mom arrives at processing on the day of the visit with a man. This man was not bad for looking at. I thought maybe Megan Fox had a brother. They hand me their ID's and I enter the names in my computer. Sure enough, Megan Fox's mom and the man...
So I go outside to let her into the visiting room and there she is standing with inmate K. She comes inside and I pat search her and write down everything she came in with. (Hair bands, earrings, watch, ect.) Then she turns to me and asks me not to mention anything about inmate K to her mom or husband.
Of course I wouldn't.
As the visit went on, the officer on duty at the camp came in. He too was familiar with Megan Fox and inmate K. He saw Megan Fox in the visiting room, holding hands and chatting with a man and asked me who that was. When I told him, he was shocked. And we laughed.
Later that afternoon, another inmate came to the visiting room. She works in there handing out toys to the kids. She also happens to be Megan Fox's bunkmate. She saw Megan Fox and her husband sitting there and she was shocked. She went over and introduced herself as the bunkmate and was informed that this man was in fact Megan Fox's husband.
She then came to me and asked me if I knew that Megan Fox had a husband. I told her I just met him.
She says, “Ms. S, when she said that was her husband your could have knocked me down with a feather.”
Catherine had some friends sleep over the other day. Before they came, Catherine was on the phone working out the details of this adventure.
Catherine then informs me that since their mom is driving them over here, it's only fair that I have to drive them home.
Someone please explain how exactly this is a fair deal?
Their mom gets a quiet night with no kids, while I get two extra.
I have to listen to them all night. You know no one actually sleeps at a sleep over. I have to work at the crack of dawn too.
I have to feed them. And they eat like all other 11 and 12 year olds do... Everything in sight. And if I have to drive them home, it won't be until after 2 the next day since, like I said, I have to work. So I have to feed them dinner, plus breakfast and lunch the next day. Plus snacks. Plus drinks. Plus dessert. Plus all the "Mom can we have..." stuff.
I get to clean up after them. And I am sure they will leave bowls and cups and junk everywhere.
I am now stuck in the house because I can't fit everyone in the car now. Not that I want to take an extra two kids shopping.
I get to watch endless hours of kids playing Wii.
All of this, and I get to drive them home too. Because it's only fair. She drove them over here after all.
So I wrote this before I dropped them off and when I did drop them off, their mom kept Catherine over night. And they are in the middle of a move. And she does have 6 kids. So maybe it wasn't that bad...
This seems to be the anthem of my children this summer. Mostly Catherine. Carolynn has swim and she is a Jr. Guard at the pool. But mostly, they are lazy bums.
I am trying to keep them motivated while still allowing for that summer vacation lazy feeling. I don't force them to go to bed at any specific time. But I did give them each a list of chores to do. Carolynn is good with lists. She sticks to them really well. But Catherine, the reigning Queen of Lazy Town, picks the easy stuff to do and "forgets" the rest.
Catherine is doing home study starting this fall. This is going to be awesome.
In December of 1986, my father called me to inform me I had a baby sister. Nicole Danielle was born. However, at the time, I lived with my mom and saw my father rarely. I saw the baby sister several times, but the last time she was just under 2 years old. And I didn't see her again.
Early this year, she found me on Facebook. And once she found me, that was it. We are sisters. The end. That is just the kind of person she is. I love that about her. She calls to chat and I get to find out about her life. She lives in Texas with her husband and her daughter, my niece Carter, who is 1.
Recently my dad's wife, Vicky sent me lots of old pictures. Pictures of me and my brother as babies or small children. Pictures of my grandparents and of my dad and my aunts and uncles. And in that mix were some pictures of my sister. Wonderful, adorable, completely embarrassing pictures. Please, enjoy them with me. Because what kind of big sister would I be if I didn't post these pictures for the world to see.
Last weekend was Independance Day. I worked. But we manged to celebrate a little bit. David's sister Gena and Robby came up on Saturday night. On Sunday we had a a celebratory feast. We had barbecue chicken, fresh corn on the cob, watermelon, potato salad and pasta salad. We were all stuffed.
David took a few pictures.
This is me telling Gena to stop being so picky and eat the potato salad...While Carolynn does the robot.
Gena shoving food in.
Catherine is really happy about her dinner.
Gena is arguing with someone about something. I can't remember.
More of Gena shoving the food in.
Me giving David a look.
Carolynn tring to not be in a picture with her sister.
Robby likes hair sniffing. That is so weird.
On Monday, we ate leftovers and hot dogs. Then we watched the Town Of Apple Valley's fireworks. We can see them clearly from our front yard. It rained suddenly and I was worried the fireworks would be cancelled. You can't have Independance Day without firworks!
But the rain stopped in time and we got to enjoy the show.
One evening at everyone's favorite women's prison camp, I was sitting in the office eating dinner. An inmate comes to the office and says she is having a problem with another inmate. Inmate M says she is being harassed by inmate H. She says inmate H follows her around, says rude things and acts like a giant bully. Then, to make matters worse, inmate H has been telling other staff members that it is inmate M who is causing the trouble.
I advise the inmate to do her best to avoid the offending inmate and to leave me alone.
Later that night, another inmate mentions that inmate H is bullying inmate M and that inmate M was forced from her room in tears the previous week. And that inmate H danced around making fun of her for it. Several other inmates reported seeing the same thing.
I know inmate H. She is a bully. She is a huge woman. Probably close to 6 feet tall and about 300lbs. Up until this happened, I can't even remember inmate M. She was quiet and blended in. So I was starting to believe that she was being bullied.
But what could I do? These are grown women. I am not their mommy. And I had seen nothing for myself.
As the evening went on, I came across inmate M standing outside of education crying. So I stopped to ask her what was wrong.
She says that she and another inmate, inmate G, were in the restroom in education. She was chatting with inmate G as she washed her hands when inmate H stormed in. Not seeing inmate G, inmate H took that opportunity to give inmate M a shove.
Now it was on. Once an inmate reports that she has been assaulted, I have no choice but to take action. I return to the office and call the lieutenant. He asks me to call the two girls up so he can talk to them and informs me that he will be there shortly. I call the two of them. Inmate M arrives first and brings inmate G as her witness. Inmate H arrives right after and I send her to medical. In the event of an assault, no matter how minor, all involved parties are medically assessed.
So, here we are, inmate M is in my office crying. Inmate G is standing in the hallway just outside my office and inmate H is in medical.
Medical finishes with inmate H and she storms into the office and begins screaming at inmate M. Inmate M says nothing. I send her to medical and advise inmate H to stop yelling. I advise her to wait for the lieutenant.
She should have listened.
She begins yelling at me. She tells me that if I don't make this go away, she will tell eveyone, and get witnesses, that I bring in contraband for inmates in exchange for cups of coffee.
Really? Coffee? Who would risk their job over coffee? I don't even drink coffee. I don't even own a coffee pot.
She continues her tirade. Inmate G, the witness, is still standing right there. Inmate H begins accusing her of being the one who is bribing me with coffee. (Inmate G gets regular visits and I was the visiting officer at the time.) Inmate G denies that, but says no more. So inmate H, comes up behind her, grabs her by the shoulders and shoves her a few feet.
I am still standing right there.
Inmate G is stunned and I separate them just as the lieutenant arrives.
After sorting through all that had happened, it was decided that we couldn't prove inmate H's assault on inmate M, but we can prove that she assaulted inmate G and verbally threatened me. And because of that fact, she should be sent away to a more secure facility.
She was secured, and while she was waiting for someone to come transport her to another facility, she spent her time telling me God was on her side and the Devil was in me and I will be struck down for what I have done.
I'll admit it, I am not thin. I have seen a scale. The scale barely survived. I get it. I need to eat better and exercise. I know this. You know this. And yet, here I sit, at this computer, because like many people I know, I can't seem to put it down.
Fitocracy is this fabulous new social media game that forces you to work out to level up. It inspires you with fun quests to try new things. David, the girls, and I have been playing it for a little while now.
And you know what... We feel better! Serious. David lost 7lbs in a month or so. My pants are looser and people at my work have said I have been looking thinner.
We have been having so much fun with this. We have been walking the dogs more. Going to the park more. We even spent some time at the park playing Frisbee with the dogs just to complete a quest.
for Father's Day and we have all been using it. Even Catherine can bench 20lbs. Yesterday, to try and complete a quest, David and I went out to specifically try to jog a mile is less than 10 minutes. And I have been doing crunches until my abs hurt to try and finish a quest to do 50 crunches in one set. I haven't managed it yet. But I am getting closer.
Because of the Fitocracy, I spent an afternoon in the park playing soccer with Catherine. David did it on another afternoon and little kids in the park joined in on the fun. And David and I have even gone to evening lap swim at the pool with Carolynn and attempted to swim laps. Carolynn smoked us, but we tried it.
Thanks to Fitocracy, my Wii Fit, which has been collecting dust in the closet, has been brought back out. And everyone has been enjoying it.
So, how about you join us? Put down the lap tops. Get your hand off the mouse. Turn off that Call Of Duty.
Fitocracy is still in beta testing, so you'll need an invite.
And guess what... I have plenty of them!
Just click on this link here and join in. Add me as a friend, user name JenCaSea. We can encourage each other to get up and move. If you have trouble getting this link to work, send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send you a personal invite. Also, if we are Facebook friends or Twitter followers, look for the invites there as well.
5 years ago at this time, I had just moved into my first apartment after my divorce. Now, I am looking to buy my first home.
5 years ago at this time, I had just started what I thought was a fabulous job at a basket importing company. No benefits, low pay. Jerk boss. Not the glamorous job I had envisioned. Now, I have just completed two and a half years as a federal correctional officer and that basket importing business is no longer.
5 years ago at this time, Carolynn was about to start the fifth grade and Catherine was about to start the second. Carolynn will be a high school sophomore in the fall and Catherine begins the seventh grade, and home school. Home school is not anything I ever thought we would be doing.
5 years ago, David was a friend who was helping me out while I was getting on my feet and he was finding his way. Now he is my best friend and future husband who helps me to raise my girls up right while going to college and keeping me sane. Frankly, I think he has the hardest job.
5 years ago today, I started this blog.
3 years ago today, we moved from San Diego to the High Desert. Crazy. It doesn't feel like 3 years. It feels like I have been here forever.
Anyways, here's to 5 years of our craziness. And to 5 more to come...