Friday, January 31, 2014

A Day In The Life

Shortest Fight

So I was walking along, minding my own business.

Actually, I was minding the business of inmates in recreation areas. There were between 2 and 4 inmates in each outdoor recreation area. It was a pretty nice day and inmates were exercising and playing handball and generally enjoying some time outside.

There were two inmates in a middle area that were watching me pretty intently. Of course they think I am too dumb to notice. I am not the only officer out there. There is another officer out there watching as well. He too notices the odd behavior of these two inmates.

They appear to be jogging; around and around in their area. Not talking and watching us.

Each time we pass by they stop.

Finally on the third pass, one of them says to me…

“Hey CO Lady. You think I could fight this guy?” He indicated to the other inmate in his area.

“I don’t think you should. How about you come out of there now?” I signaled to the other officer who had the keys.

Before the officer could get there, the inmate he mentioned walked up and punched the inmate who had been talking to me right in the stomach.

The inmate who had been punched doubled over. I called for other staff as I had no idea what else would happen.

The officer with the keys opened the inner door and the inmate who had been punched walked to the outer door. The officer then closed the inner door, separating the two inmates.

Then the inmate who punched him, went back to his jogging. He didn’t say a word.

More staff arrived and escorted the punched inmate to medical and then back to his cell. They also did the same for the jogging inmate, who seemed unhappy his jogging time had been cut short.

I asked him why.

He said some people just deserve a good punch every now and again.

Friday, January 24, 2014

A Day In The Life

How Could This Happen To Me?

So I was working one day when the lieutenant called me and told me I was needed up front. That can’t be great news.

I headed up to the front where I encountered another lieutenant and a female visitor. She was crying. The lieutenant looked furious. He told me to come with them.

Okay.

We entered the front lobby and encountered a female SIS (Special Investigations) officer coming in to begin her shift. She immediately joined us.

The lieutenant left us ladies alone and the SIS Officer asked the crying visitor if she had drugs on her. She said she did. The SIS officer asked if she would consent to be searched. She said yes. The officer pat searched her. I stood by.

No drugs were found.

But she said she had some…

And she stripped down and removed a maxi pad filled with balloons of what she told us were heroin and “ice”. The SIS Officer took it. The visitor redressed. We escorted her to another room and I sat with her while the SIS officer went and tested the drugs and do what they were supposed to do.

The visitor sat and cried. And cried. She asked me what was going to happen to her. I didn’t know. She asked if she would go to jail. I said I didn’t know.

But I told her I did know it is a crime to introduce drugs into a prison.

She cried some more.

She said she never thought she would get into trouble.

No, of course not.

The SIS Officer came back and said that it would be up to the police if she was going to jail. But that the police were on the way. She said they searched her car as well. She cried some more.

I can’t go to jail.

She tells the SIS Officer that she has a son and that he was at the babysitter’s house. She needs to go get him. The SIS officer asks for the name and phone number of the babysitter so the police can get in contact. She doesn’t know.

Of course, mother of the year would leave her precious baby with people she doesn’t know so she could smuggle drugs into a prison.

The police arrived to take her to jail. She asked about her car. She was told her car would be towed. She cried some more because it was her father’s car and she was supposed to give it back.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. She told us she did not even get paid for the drugs.

How could she possibly have known that attempting to smuggle drugs into a prison she would face a possibilty of going to jail, getting her father’s car towed, and having CPS pick up her kid?

How could she know?

I don’t know. I guess it will remain a mystery.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Sick

Everyone got sick.

Catherine had it. She was in her room coughing and sniffling and falling asleep at 2:00 in the afternoon.

David had it. He was in bed coughing and blowing his nose feeling miserable for days.

I had it. Coughing for days. Endless tissues. Nyquil to the rescue.

Michelle had it. Snot running down her face, humidifier in her room constantly. Lots of wiping. Lots of naps. Lots of cuddles.

Somehow though, Carolynn is fine.

I want her immunity.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Ramblings Of Flanders

I am not a religious person. Or maybe I am. Maybe I am all religions. You get more holidays that way. More reason’s to celebrate, more parties, more fun. You learn new things. Find new meanings in old things. I will try anything.

So I was at work and nothing was going on and I was stuck in a room with nowhere to go. Talk about boring. All there was in this room was me; a guy not talking to me; a computer in which said guy was using; and a couple of Bibles.
So I flipped one open and read a story.

Here is the Reader’s Digest Version…

There is this guy named Job. He was quite the guy; wife, a mess of kids, big farm. Awesome. On top of that, he was a God’s man. He prayed he worshiped. He was all about his God.

So Satan comes along and say’s to God that Job only worships Him because he has all the good stuff. He suggested that if he didn’t have all that stuff, he would curse God. So God took away all his stuff. No more farm, no more kids…

And Job remained faithful.

Then Satan said if he didn’t also still have his health…

So there was poor Job covered in painful sores.

And he remained faithful.

His friends came and accused him of sinning. No way God would punish you this hard if you weren’t a sinner. His own wife, all he had left, said he might as well be dead.

And he was still faithful.

And he prayed for his friends. He prayed that they would be forgiven for accusing him. Prayed that his wife would see his worth.

And God proved to Satan that Job was faithful no matter what. And he rewarded Job for all his faith by returning his entire farm, his kids and healing him. Plus more.

********************

So the guy in the room with me tells me that it is one of his favorite stories and that he hopes that he would be so awesome that God would recognize him like he recognized Job.

That is all well and good…

But, what kind of sick twisted God does that to a person he supposedly likes? And isn’t it well understood that Christians should block Satan and not let him into their lives? And here we have their own God trying to prove himself to the one person who shouldn’t matter?

I do like that in the end Job was rewarded for his faithfulness. He knew in his heart that he had done nothing wrong. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. That doesn’t then make them bad people. You just need to look in your heart and know what kind of a person you are. If you believe in your heart that you are a good person and you try to live that way each and every day, no matter what happens to you, it will show to all those around you. And you will be rewarded in the end.

What happens to you doesn’t end you.

It is what you become despite it that defines you.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Not Such A Hot Date

The other day David got it in his head that we needed to go out more. So he took me to Outback and we had a great time. We hadn’t been there since we moved from San Diego. Carolynn watched the baby and everything. It was fabulous.

Usually when we go out we go to Red Robin. David is a big fan of burgers. (And Pizza.) So it is a good choice for us. I can get a burger or chicken or fish. They have great food. And a lot of burger choices. And amazing fries.

So last week, on Thursday night, we decided to go there. It was just us and the baby. The other two were off visiting friends. We got there at about 5:00 PM, according to my FourSquare.

So they were super nice right away. We didn’t have to wait to be seated. They brought us drinks right away. They even brought crackers for Michelle. So we ordered our burgers and then…

We waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

At about 5:40 PM the waitress finally reappeared. She apologized for the wait and brought us a basket of fries. She said there was some kind of mix up and the manager would be out to talk to us. By that time, we were starving and Michelle was sick of waiting. She is 1. She doesn’t wait.

A few minutes later, they finally brought the food. My burger looked right but David’s was wrong. He had to send it back. The came back a few minutes later and brought him the correct burger. Too bad for him it was way overdone. Mine looked right but, it didn’t taste right. I had ordered a bleu cheese burger and whatever sauce they put on it didn’t mesh with the bleu cheese. The manager never came and talked to us. Even though she said he would.

It was awful. AWFUL!

I complained. We eat there often. They should make it right.

Friday, January 10, 2014

A Day In The Life

Minor Investigation

It was Mother’s Day. I was the Visiting Room Officer. AT A FEMALE CAMP!

I work there enough that the inmate’s families know me. So it isn’t surprising when a 9 year old comes over to my desk and wants to tell me something. This young guy is the grandson of an inmate and he visits often. He comes up and tells me he saw something bad.

Bad?

Yes, he says he saw bad cigarettes.

I ask him where and he says it is over near the vending machines.

The room is packed. I clear the vending area to a few grumbles so he can show me what he found. He squeezes his tiny body behind the machine and pulls out a bag. There are two packs of cigarettes and what appear to be snack wrappers. They turned out to be full of pills. Nyquill Liquid Gels from what I could tell.

I take these to the officer’s station and call the lieutenant. Then I ask this bright young man how he happened to find that bag way back there.

Well, he tells me it wasn’t behind the machine when he first saw it. That he saw a man in a red shirt drop it under the front of the machine. And he picked it up and put it way back there so little kids couldn’t get it, because it was bad. Then he came and got me.

The man in the red shirt?

There was only one visitor wearing a red shirt, the husband of an inmate sitting at a table.

The lieutenant comes and ends their visit. Not a whole lot that we could do after that though. The inmate was released the following day. Perhaps that was her one last hurrah.

Too bad my tiny detective was on to their scheme and busted her. He told me when he grows up he is going to be a detective. I bought him a candy bar.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

People Of Wal-Mart

I got a tablet from Wal-Mart. David got it for me as a wedding gift. It is a really nice tablet and since I got one, Mary and Tonya bought one for Abby. It is a Hisense Sero 7. It only cost $149 and it works great. The only thing I liked better about my iPad, was my iPad was larger. This was faster and cheaper and worked great. But it is only available at Wal-Mart.

Michelle was watching something on it in the car on our way to San Diego. And she hit it with some toy and it got a little crack. And I had no protection for it… No case, no screen protector. I did think to buy a warranty for it. Anyway, the crack was small and I didn’t act on it.

The crack slowly got bigger and bigger and finally, I tell David we are going to have to get it taken care of. As a matter of fact, while I am telling him this, I get up and accidently drop it on the tile floor. I was so mad. Whole thing shattered and wouldn’t turn on anymore.

Luckily, I had bought that warranty. They issued me a gift card for the full amount of the tablet, plus tax the very next day. It was all done online.

So, here we go…

I go to the Wal-Mart by our house, but it doesn’t carry tablets. Only iPads. So I have to go the Wal-Mart Supercenter 20 minutes away. Not a big deal really, I bought it there in the first place. I got in and I can see the have several in stock. There are a few people waiting, so I look around and pick out a new case and screen protectors. When it is our turn, I am informed that they cannot sell me the tablet because the lock to that cabinet was broken. She called the supervisor. The supervisor tried a couple different sets of keys. No luck.

They call over to the other Wal-Mart Supercenter and find out if they have any. They are all out.

She says it will be several days before they can get a locksmith to fix it. Then she says that is the second time it has gotten broken in a month because some employee continues to try and use the wrong key to open it.

So tell me this…

Why does that employee still have keys? Even if being an idiot is not worth firing someone over, Wal-Mart is a big store. Couldn’t he collect carts? Stock Shelves? Sweep floors? Keys may be too advanced.

So, after I was disappointed that I had to wait, we went over to the baby clothes section. Michelle needed tights. She has winter dresses and she loves her dresses. They are pretty, she says. So we go to get her some tights. It took me a while to find where they keep them. The shelves say “Three Pack Toddler Tights 18 Months to 4T”, but there is everything but on these shelves. I search a bit and finally find her some tights. We pay for them and finally leave.

That Wal-Mart is relatively new and it is already ghetto.

Friday, January 03, 2014

A Day In The Life

The Eyes Have It

He was a big inmate. Probably close to 7 feet tall. Not a thin guy either.

I walked up and down the ranges in Special Housing looking for inmates that wanted to go to recreation. Mundane as it is, it’s my job. This inmate would like to go outside, or so he says. So I open the little trap door and cuff him and his cellmate up. I signal for the door to be opened and he steps out.

All of him. Huge in sweats and tennis shoes. Next to my 4’11”.

Anyway, the door closes and I un-cuff his cellmate. I close the trap door and proceed to escort him to recreation.

Oh yes, I am his escort.

We make it down the stairs and are walking toward recreation when suddenly he jerks toward the lieutenant’s office.

And I go with him.

No, we are going to rec.

But he wants to talk to the lieutenant.

Not now. Recreation.

But he won’t move. I can’t exactly move him.

The lieutenant sees what is going on and comes out. He tells the inmate that when he is directed to go somewhere by an officer, he better go. The lieutenant refuses to hear anything the inmate has to say and tells him to go to recreation and he will speak to him there.

Reluctantly, the inmate starts moving toward recreation. I am still his escort. The lieutenant comes too. Just in case.

He is visibly upset that he didn’t get his way and is stomping his feet like a three year old. We get out to the recreation area and the rec officer opens the door for him.

He kicked it shut. And it bounced right back at him. I would have hit him right in the face if he hadn’t turned.

Of course, I was still his escort and when he turned...

BOOM! Elbow in the eye.

He realized his mistake just in time to stop himself from hitting me too hard. And slamming me into the brick wall behind me.

The lieutenant escorts him right back out of recreation.

The inmate spent the rest of the day apologizing. And apologizing. And even days later, other inmates were reminding me how sorry he was.

So very sorry.