Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Days Of Wine And Bacon

They say you shouldn't cook with a wine you won’t drink. I don’t drink wine. So where does that leave me? Buying the cheapest wine I find, that is where.

I found this pork chop recipe a few months ago and it has been a hit around here. Pintrest… is there anything it can’t do?

It calls for white wine.

I was going to make it a few weeks ago and I was out of white wine. Around the same time, Carolynn wanted me to make her and Michelle’s favorite, bacon fried rice. We were also out of bacon. So I ask David to pick up those two items on his way home one day.

He picks up the girls from school and heads over to the Winco. He picks up a $2.97 bottle of white wine and a pound of bacon. Quite the combo; Less than $6 purchase.

He takes it up and the cashier won’t ring it up for him. He shows his ID. Okay, he looks young. Good for him. But he has his ID so no big deal… Or so you would think.

But the checker won’t sell him the wine. She insinuates that David is buying this wine to give to Carolynn and Catherine who are with him. Because they are under aged and he looks like the kind of guy who buys $2.97 bottles of wine for minors. Or so he can get them drunk and take advantage of them. Whatever.

The manager is called and basically tells him the same thing. He tries telling them that they are his kids but no one is buying that. We just cook with it. They aren’t buying that either. They eventually let him make his purchase, after making him feel like a creepy child predator first.

I know a lot of dumb criminals.

But in this case…

If you are planning on buying alcohol for minors, why would you bring them with you? Why would you make the purchase in broad daylight at a large market? And why would you buy a cheap bottle of white wine? And why would you need bacon?

Bacon…

Friday, February 21, 2014

A Day In The Life

Everywhere You Want To Be

On a fabulous day working visiting, a couple came in. They were in their 80’s and the woman was crying. They are there to visit but are afraid they just don’t have the proper documentation.

They tell me how they looked on the website to see what they need. ID is required and the prison will accept…

State Issued ID/ Driver’s License
Passport/Border Crossing Card/Visa
Military ID

The man says he has something, but she doesn’t have anything.

Sorry, there is nothing I can do for them if she has no ID. She is upset. But really, ID is required.

He calmly tells her to relax. He will go in and visit for a short time and come right back out. He fills out his form and hands it to me along with his card.

The lady is still there crying.

She asks me why an American Express won’t work.

What?

Then I look at his ID. It is not an ID at all, but a Visa card. Visa credit card. Not a visa passport card.

Wrong kind of visa.

I tell him and he looks at me like I just said a dirty word.

He and his wife leave in a huff.

He comes back a short time later and presents a military ID. He says his wife had nothing with her except her American Express. He is then processed in for a visit. He doesn’t visit long, as his wife is waiting.

At least he got in.